"Ill-health, of body or of mind, is defeat. Health alone is victory. Let all men, if they can manage it, contrive to be healthy!" -Thomas Carlyle.


Swimming yesterday and gym today. Great way to start the week ♥

On to the challenge.
Day 03 — Your favorite television program

Just a recent addiction. And I can't believe I'm already on Season Three -.-

"Army Wives"

"House"


PS. I hate this feeling. So THIS is what it feels like.

Exhausting. Yesterday was friggen exhausting -.- I blame my body clock for being so screwed and I still wake up as early as 6:30 even when I'm tired as fkuc.

I didn't know Zumba classes could be a pain... or maybe it had just been a long day. But I had fun nevertheless =D

On other news, I hate how I look like drunk -.-






.. and I never really get those flushing symptoms but somehow this time around it seemed as if I was allergic to alcohol consumption.lol whoa, now THAT's new.

Back to the challenge.

Day 02 — Your favorite movie

1. "Everafter"

A simple yet elegant rendition of the classic and delightful Cinderella legend that has given pleasure to many for centuries. The script is strong for a romantic fairy tale and the cinematography is just gorgeous. I fell in love with the movie on first watch and I can't even count how many times I did. lol

and because I'm a girl...

2. "Mean Girls"

Need I say more? ^_^

Blogspot 30 day challenge

This is originally a tumbler challenge but since I couldn't sleep and bored out of my skull, I'll take the plunge ;)

Day 01 — Your favorite song
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy


Day 01
Favorite song.
Can't it be song(s)? lol.

My playlist says..

• Slow Dancing in a Burning room
• Icebox
• My Sundown
• Killing me
• Samson
• Hear you Hear me
• This is real by Lisa hall
• Set fire to the third bar by Snow Patrol
• Friction by Morcheeba

Working-out jam/ gym jam

• Nicole Chens may mix
• The Naughty Song
• Way you Grind
• Go girl
• Morenamia mix (lol)

I'm marking May 21st as my anniversary for saying no to smoking. wheee!

Yes, I'm currently abstaining from smoking and now I eat everything in sight. And what do you know, I'm also experiencing withdrawal symptoms called weirdolitis lol. So forgive my idiocy. And before you get any weird ideas, no I'm not an addict of any kind. It's just baffling to put aside something that has become a part your life (kinda) -.- Truth be told, I feel sucky at the moment but great at the same time and so far I'm already seeing positive results. My skin feels healthier and I have more stamina for anything ^^

Week 2 of semi-intense workout =s

.. are the crunches and presses and curles helping yet? =s

She

I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days, more than necessary, as usual. The good thing is that there have been no waterworks, except a few tearing-ups. The bad thing is that it upsets my priorities. Fantasies suck out realities, don’t they always? It makes me wish sometimes that there was some way I could record my thoughts as soon as they wrote themselves, so that I’d preserve the very way I structured them in my head. But mostly so I’d never forget the realizations that came with them.

I’ve been thinking about how much I'm starting not to think of him all the time, I'm thinking about forgetting one of my closest friends that I decided not to talk to anymore (she hurt me, and because of the friendship, I decided to just ignore it), I've been thinking about my alternate universe(s), the holes in my fantasy, the people that I’m jealous of, the hearts I wish I could touch, the lives I wish I could save, the people I wish I could curse, and a million other things, some too abstract for me to define.

I think I talk a lot. But, let the universe be in charge of the fates of my blog. If someone is meant to find this, I guess they simply will. But I really prefer keeping this non-public to my own close acquaintances. Sorry for blabbing but being alone is my comfort zone. I feel so much comfort when I'm writing, reading and eating.

So what about Arvin, you ask? He hasn't emailed me in a week and a half. This is by far the longest he hasn't emailed me in months. I want to be able to understand him, but I would appreciate it if he leaves little things on my fb wall or say hi when he could and it wouldn't matter if it only contained two words as long as he tells me he's okay and that he thinks about me. I am still willing to make the good memories count more than the bad stuff. That is why I am, once again, plunged into the unknown. I just felt that we could be great together. That is why I took this (whatever-you-call-it) to a whole new level because he showed me how to take a chance even with the possibilty that it can only be for a moment. I don't even want to grasp the thought of him away from me any longer; I just want to make lasting memoriesl last.

But sometimes I ask myself why I ever took that plunge. Why I didn't hold back even though I was scared. So I can shield myself from life and all it can give me? Sure, things might not turn out they way I want it to, but it could. Living is about experiencing. I have learned so much from the most unexpected people. I learned from him too. He made me a better person and this is why I took the chance. Life continues to be one big surprise.

So life, please surprise me. I am badly in need of one. and PLease please make it a good surprise. Thank you.

on gym and working out

I've been thinking about it lately and I feel that my doing daily crunches alone isn't helping even while using the stationary bike as a cardio workout. I want FIRM! I need bodacious bod STAT! And I really need to work on my abs =(



Hell i miss this too..! When can I do this again?? Work out, then swim, and jacuzzi afterwards. Ahh...



So after sinfully drinking "til-my-head-hurts" last night (w-ell, not really! I had three cans of BEER, and beer is bad I really prefer hard liquor) I was drinking faster than I should, and that got me a little hammered. lol. So rejuvenating now and starting out early on my morning routine since the brother woke me up unexpectedly to drive him! What the fudge. Getting awakened with a pretty bad headache is so not cool.

striking a pose with sweat running down my back lol


Yeah. I should really get back to my schedule and to stick to that routine. Hopefully I could post a before-after pic in a few months. Now starting with a "before" pic ^^

While I wait.

Did I mention that waiting is the worst feeling next to a broken heart?

And the next worst one? Getting drunk as fuck.

Seriously, why am I so busy in the morning and end up getting bored at night?
When it's broad daylight I hardly have time to do anything. Then comes dusk and I get bored. Whoa.

The Secret Letter

Black mascara stained tissues fill my bedroom floor. I never even knew it was possible to feel this alone. I have friends but I can never have them like I can have you, can I? Ever since you left I haven't been able to think straight. I never asked for this. I never thought things would have turned out this way. Never in a million years. The idea that I have absolutely no control in a situation that is going to affect my life is a scary thought. It’s like watching a train wreck happen right in front of my eyes.

They say some things don’t work out like they should. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re wrong. Maybe you were always meant to leave. Maybe I’m supposed to find myself while you’re away. Do some soul searching while you’re gone. I’ve got time. I’m sure you’re doing the same.

I envy the couples I see passing me by on the city streets. I have half of what they have. I have you, but not your presence. I have your memory but not your touch. I want so badly to just be able to kiss your lips, hold your hand, and see your smile once again. Yeah, modern technology is great. But it’s not enough. I need You, not your picture. Are webcams and sporadic phone calls suppose to hold me through months, even years without seeing your face, touching your skin, feeling the warmth and safety of your arms around me. Wait, what am I talking about? We haven't webcammed in ages, nor talked on the phone.

Nevertheless, I love you whether you’re right next to me or a thousand miles away. It's just difficult that’s all. Whatever happens, please just don't forget about me because I will never forget about you. In the mysterious and distant place of the future, I don't know if we will end up together. For now I'll keep my memories close to my heart and continue to re-live them until the moment we can create even more.


Love, Jern

lol. this one's so funny i just had to put it out here ^^

"You make me happy and it scares me. I'm scared that I'll forget about him."

new change

the new black.

I just realized, one of the many zillions of trivialities that spark my hyperactive imagination late at night when I can't sleep:

1. I wonder how my Arvin is?
2. When the fuck am I gonna get that full time job?
3. What will happen in a few months?
4. What shall I do tomorrow since I only work a few hours in a week?

And some recent absurdity:

.. Why am I thinking about this other "thing" when I shouldn't be? Cousin Ellaine said, to not let it get over me. Trust me, hell I'm not. But it's the same issue over and over. People like to make blah stories. And now, it's all bouncing in my insane head.

A monster hug please, and a reason not to cry.

Seriously. What do I do?
Be happy without him, or be unhappy without him?
Must people always have a say about something?

For a single moment I want to feel like the universe isn't about to crush me and my heart isn't about to explode and THAT'S wrong?

You know what sucks? Being THE family driver. Family nanny AND driver. I can't believe mom used to do this all the time! Waking up at 530 in the morning is not fun at all. To start off, dropped my dad off at the base at friggen 530am, then comes 7am I drop my two brothers off to school. When I got back I couldn't sleep any longer so I decided to fold the clothes from the dryer. I never realized being home alone wasn't so easy. Then at twelve noon, I had to cook lunch. Dad usually does it in the evening but we were busy over the weekend =( At 2pm, I start picking everyone up. This isn't a usual routine but I was the one home today therefore I am left with the "privilege." Darn it. lol. I never knew staying home could be soo exhausting!! I seriously ended up sleeping from 4pm-6pm O_o and now I can't sleep. Double darn.

Anyway. Babe made me this letter two days ago and I honestly couldn't stop reading it. He's just too sweet.


to the gem that sparkles in my thoughts,
you have persuaded me to understand what a soulmate truly is, i sympatize about you every second of my time. i admire every female envying quality and capabilities you have. i love everything about you from your sensitive touches all the way to your smile, you fill my heart with the essence of passion, like the feelling of being struck by cupid's arrow. you radiate like the flames of the sun itself. ive traversed the world and found nothing until i met you. you are my empathy, my symbol, a puzzle that completes and fortifies my heart. you have filled the gap that used to be a lonesome one in the past, but you have relinquished that feeling because i have you. time seems too slow when we're apart, and too agile when i'm with you, i wish it never ended, but i will be waiting for that day when im with you again my love, my bride, my future wife..♥ . regardless of these ridiculed long days im not with you i'll be with you eventually because everyday is one step closer to you. JERN you will be and only will be the only one that suffices my heart....APR 2012 is what i'll be longing for. I LOVE YOU ETERNALLY AND KNOW THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Me and brotha. Just havin lol^^

I wouldn't usually blog how my days had been. But I thought I'd make this a little like my old one where I put just about everything in and when I get bored, I look back and laugh at all the memories :)

To start off, Bens grill and resto. This was unplanned but I went anyway even if it was last minute. It's my first time alone with cousin Ellaine too ever since I arrived.

Ellaine, Me and the "bestfriend," Dan (hehe).


With Aira,(guest singer and friend of Ellaine) Ken and Ron


Me and Dan again lol

Got home around three am, a little tipsy with three bottles of beer >,<

May 08
Dan being the really good friend he is, took us to his ship and showed us around. I seriously got dizzy lol but I guess it didn't bother me so much because I was having a blast looking around. Since the inside of these ships are all alike, it undeniably made me feel more closer than ever to my Arvin. It was just, breathtaking. It felt like we were together inside that ship.



k, enuff drama. picture overload with Daniel.







So these are their "racks" huh. omg, i could hardly fit in that thing =(



Thank you Dan, for the tour! ^^
.. then we headed to Chula Vista to pick-up Geeno, ate at this resto somewhere there, then to AMC to watch Iron Man 2. The day was crazy but all in all I had a real good time. I wish he was here though.

Dedicated to my one and only.

i iz bein silly again.. teehee xD

Singing to "Lucky" with singingdrok888 =D

Watch me do it



This is what I do when I'm alone and bored. lol