Chasing down a never ending make-believe ♥

I haven't blogged since forever but I need to vent. I disabled my once blog of two years because I wanted to shut myself completely to the world and everything written in it just brings back abominable memories. But now I realize there is something about blogging that I find therapeutic. I don't have a way with words and I may talk gibberish but, like anybody cares? So here I shall begin my "idiocy" again.

Today is not at all different from my other days but I just feel like I'm about to explode and I just need to put it out. There is 99% chance that someone will find this blog anyway. I have just been sick and tired of my endless repetitive days. Nothing is ever new. I want to get the fuck away from here and go far far off from all the pain and the hurt. Although I could never picture myself as a depressed person, somehow that is how I'm turning out to be.

Heck, I even wanted my blog mood to be "happy" but because I don't want to deceit myself, the blog theme turned out to be black with a touch of color. Synonymous to my life...dark and light combined, but the real Jern inside still outweighs it.. happy, and always finding ways to be satisfied with life. But when will I ever really be satisfied? People say, with what I have accomplished I should be happy. But those are just little things in life and people who dreams more only means we want to learn more. Someone once told me that studying shall never get old and there are new things to learn everyday. I always welcome the opportunity for new things, good or bad because whatever they become we still learn from them. The problem is, I am neutral. Same old repetitive things every single day. I am sick and tired. I want to be free.


P.S. Stranger or not, feel at liberty to comment. I would appreciate to hear from anyone :)